Mami and I don’t watch a lot of TV these days. Yesterday, we treated ourselves to watching the entire Academy Awards show. And trust me when I say, the treat didn’t come easy.

 

In order to do this we had to prep the boys about two hours before the show. We let them know, “Tonight Mami and Papi are going to watch something on TV. We’ll put on a movie for you guys and we’ll watch our show.”

 

They seemed pretty indifferent. When the time came we put an “Ice Age 3” DVD into the laptop and pushed, play. Hey, this might work out after all.          --Cue the scary soundtrack--

 

About two minutes into the show their DVD stopped. “Scratched,” Q yelled.

 

“Ok,” I said, getting up from the sofa. A quick cleaning…play…and we started anew.

 

Another minute in and, “Awwww, Papi, it’s stuck again.”

 

“Ok,” I said. “I’m gonna miss the opening,” I complained to Mami. After a better cleaning I crossed my fingers and sat down again.

 

We got to watch the first hour before the boys realized that Mami and Papi’s attention was focused elsewhere. The second hour was a combination of:

 

“Papi, JT keeps touching the computer”

“Mami, water please.”

“Papi, look at me shake my bootie.”

“Maaaaaaami, JT hit me.”

“Paaaaaaaapi, Q kicked me.”

“Mami, more water.”

“Papi, JT just spilled the water.”

{Doorbell}

Pizza!!!!!!

 

By the third hour JT was waving cowboys and dinosaurs in my face and singing whatever song came into head as long as it was loud. Q was suddenly having trouble counting to 10 and would ask for help on every number after that, “…eleven, what comes after eleven, Mami? [“Twelve,” she said],“Ok, twelve…and then what?”

 

Before the award for best director the boys had gone through a litany of laughs, tears, dances, bumps, spills and thrills; and remarkably, Mami had somehow been able to get them bathed and into their pajamas. We crawled our way to the end of the show and just before the sign off Q said, “Papi, you and Mami are boring me.” By which he meant, “Papi, I’m tired of watching you guys watch TV.”

 

I think we deserve an Oscar for best supporting parents in a Comedy or Drama; and occasionally, Horror.

 

--DiggyDaddy