JT has been out of diapers a week and three days.  A week into the Potty Training he made it through his first night diaper free and he’s never looked back. Yay!

 

We are so proud of him and we have been letting him know it. He seems very happy with himself, too. He beams with delight as he runs around the house saying, “I went pee pee toilet, I went pee pee toilet!” It’s been great, even if a little more work making sure we know were the nearest restroom is at all times. It’s also been focus intensive.

 

One thing that was brought to our attention recently is that JT has an older brother. His name is Q. (For those reading this blog for the first time we really are aware that we have another son. The above statement is more for effect.)

 

A few days ago, as we were praising JT by saying, “Yay JT, he slept all night without a diaper,” Q stepped up and said, “And yay for me, I slept in my bed all night!” Mami and I looked to each other.

I’ve mentioned before that Q has been having trouble sleeping in his bed all night. Something he hadn’t had trouble with until recently. He’s also been a little more needy than usual and has been asking for stories about when he was a baby. He’s also had more tantrums and sentimental moments.

 

When we heard Q say, “And yay for me, I slept in my bed all night,” Mami and I had an epiphany-a realization. Q had hit the nail on the head. He was right on target. He was speaking truth to the masses. In short (ok, long), he was reminding us that he was still doing his usual wonderful stuff. And he was asking for a little lovin’.

 

Mami shared with me an incident that happened a few evenings ago. I was away at a rehearsal and she and the boys had finished watching Shrek on DVD (for about the hundredth time). The movie ended and she turned off the TV saying to Q, “Go put on your pajamas and brush your teeth.”

 

Q started complaining and said, “Mami, why did you do that?” “Because the movie ended,” she said. “No, Mami,” Q continued, “why did you do that?”  Mami was a little confused and asked, “Do what?”  Q was getting more upset. “Mami, why did you do that?  Why didn’t you change me, too?”

 

Mami figured out that Q was asking why JT was already in PJ’s and he wasn’t.  Mami proceeded to explain the situation to Q as she walked him to his room to get him ready for bet. “JT went to the restroom to go pee pee,” she said, “and got his clothes a little wet, so I changed him into his pajamas.”

 

At that point Q got truly upset. He started to hit Mami, something we definitely do not allow. He began to cry and said, “Mami, so why didn’t you change me too?” Mami wasn’t sure at this point what Q was going on about.

 

“Why didn’t you change me too, Mami,” he continued. Then, it occurred to Mami to ask, “Q, did you wet yourself?” “Yes,” he said in tears. “So, why didn’t you change me too?” Mami checked his underwear as she helped put his PJ’s on and, sure enough, he had wet his underwear. She didn’t make a big deal about it. She changed him, gave him some comfort and moved on.

 

We’re still unclear when he wet himself but the fact remains that he did. Now, we both know that older children can regress when a younger sibling is born or is going through a significant phase, like Potty Training. We have both seen this happen with nieces and nephews and children of friends. And we still missed it. 

 

Mami admitted that she felt like an idiot for not seeing it earlier, and I have to say that so do I. This goes to show how much focus Potty Training can take. It can also be anxiety provoking, which can easily distract from other children. These are the perfect conditions to bring about regression in older siblings. 

 

Our spotlight was so focused on JT as the main act that we forgot the supporting players in our little Potty Play. Q’s regression has not been remarkable and that was the only incident he had wetting his underwear but he has clearly been giving us signs.

 

Looking back over the week I can see now why Q was asking for stories about when he was a baby. And why he had been pointing out his baby pictures and occasionally drifted into “baby talk” while asking to be picked up. It’s all there in black and white.

 

I feel that we gave him most of the extra attention he asked for, if not always as patiently as we could have if we had remembered the whole regression thing. But even if we had, the truth is that children may still exhibit signs of regression, regardless of an ample supply of affections, simply because children express what they are feeling. 

 

If no one tells them otherwise, children express their emotions. So it may be unavoidable that a child has a change of behavior due to the increased attention given to a sibling who is going through something unique.

 

I think that involving Q in the process helped him in the long run. Q was a good role model and seemed to enjoy coaching JT about the toilet. That’s a great job for older siblings. Still, it’s obvious that he had a reaction to JT’s Potty Training.

 

Sometimes even the Potty Trainee regresses after being diaper free for a while because suddenly the attention is not so intense. We are trying to give both our boys a little something extra in the way of time and attention right now. I don’t think it’s over the top but rather a way of helping us all  to transition into this new “Diaper Free” zone and the next chapters of life here at diggydaddy.com.