Hi this is Papi. We are in the middle of Potty Training my youngest JT. He’s had some wonderful successes and a few accidents. We’ve made it a point to praise the successes and reassure him after the accidents. He seems to be doing well. 

 

JT is pretty headstrong and things can come to a stand still when he gets on his high horse and refuses to sit on the toilet or put on underwear instead of a diaper. It requires Mami and me to dig deep into our bag of tricks, I mean parenting strategies (alright, they’re tricks) to convince JT that it should be our way or the highway. Ok, well not exactly.

 

Our philosophy has been not to push Potty Training on the boys. We did start introducing the idea early; ever since they have been able to follow us around.   But, we waited until we got what we considered enough signals from them that they are ready before actually starting a process. 

 

Usually these signs included being curious about the toilet and our bodies, regular questions about pee pee and poop, and more generally, signs of independence and understanding of putting away things like clothes and toys .

 

Potty Training can seem a mystery and can be a frustrating experience for parents. With Q, our oldest, I remember Mami and me trying to empower ourselves with books and articles. But the truth was we were intimidated. 

 

The strategy we settled on was to set aside a week when we had a relatively light schedule (for example a vacation week) and dedicate it to Q and Potty Training. We tried to start a few times and stopped when Q stopped showing interest. I think it was a combination of not wanting to force him and not wanting to fail as parents. 

 

When we did finally commit ourselves to following through we had a very successful week. Q was ready and the truth is we were ready. We encouraged him but what was most useful was using his independence as a tool. We encouraged him to tell us when he wanted to go and that he was a big boy like Papi. 

 

At that age (2 ½), Q was (and still is) all about being like Papi. I felt very valuable in the process and it was a great bonding time for us both. I also think Q felt that he wasn’t alone.  One of use was always there with him in our bathroom unless he specifically asked to be left alone.

 

One of our favorite techniques during this time was to choose a cartoon character that Q liked and offer to call him/her on the telephone when he went to the toilet (for those who prefer the word potty please insert it where ever you see the word toilet. I feel like I’m in an episode of Barney every time I say potty). 

 

At the time Q’s favorite character was Elmo from Sesame Street. After one of his first successes going to the toilet Mami picked up the phone and called Elmo. I do a mean Elmo impression by the way.  Q loved it and gained a sense of accomplishment from the phone call. Finding a friend of family member who is available to take these kinds of phone calls is very helpful.

 

This time around, the process has been less stressful for Mami and me. We also have the luxury of Q as a role model for JT. And the reality is that each child is different and parents need to be flexible. We need to have more than one tool in our bag of tricks.

 

A technique we use when JT gets uncooperative is to redirect him. That is, changing the subject while still steering him toward the goal. For example, when he refuses to sit on the toilet we offer to read him a children’s book or to tell him an adventure story. If he says yes, we sit him on the toilet as we start the story. 

 

Some of our favorite books for this purpose include, Everybody Poops by Taro Gomi and the Spanish Language version of Once Upon a Potty (for boys)/Mi Bacinica y Yo by Alona Frankel.  Both are fun and interesting stories about the reality of pooping and the commonality of body parts and functions.

 

But again, what works for one child may not work for another. For example, we tried the phone-your-favorite-character routine with JT but it didn’t work out as expected. 

 

JT is into Ninja Turtles at the moment and so we designated a friend for our “Turtle calls.” Unfortunately, he was not available during one of JT’s first successes so Mami called me. 

 

“Hello, Ninja Turtle?” Mami said into the phone when I answered. “Here is JT. He just went pee pee toilet.”

 

“Not a problem,” I said. I’m a professional and am always ready to fill in at a moments notice.

 

“Hello,” came Julian’s voice over the phone. I went deep into my years of acting training and called forth my inner surfer dude. I said, “Hey, Julian. What’s happening?” 

 

Julian paused a moment and said, “I went pee pee toilet.” “That’s awesome dude” I replied. “I’m really proud of you, dude. Keep it up, dude. Ok, dude.” Apparently, surfers say “dude” a lot.   There was another pause and then I heard JT say, “Mami, he sounds like Papi,”

 

“Ok, Ninja turtle we’ll talk to you later,” Mami interjected and hung up. My performance was a small disaster and universally panned by critics and audiences alike. Still I tried to salvage our strategy. 

 

I’d had our designated friend call and surely JT would know it wasn’t me. When I got home I found out our friend had called and got the same reaction, “Mami, it’s Papi.” 

 

My lousy performance had apparently seeped into the very fabric of the character itself. I tried one last thing. I had our friend call while I was home. I was convinced JT would believe that it was a real Ninja turtle calling since Papi was right next to him. 

 

The call came in. “Hi JT, this is Raphael, Ninja Turtle. I’m glad you went to the potty.” JT’s contribution to the conversation went something like, “Ok, bye.”

 

What can I say? Everything doesn’t work all the time. As a matter of fact the last couple of times JT has successfully gone to the toilet he’s made it a point to say, “Mami, Papi, let’s not call the Ninja Turtles.” Hey, what ever works.

 

The Daddy life at diggydaddy.com

 

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